Softening the Fear
by lonnevox
Summary: A nice, boiling hot cup of honey tea is just what the soul and body need to calm itself down after having experienced a nightmare. However, to calm down the soul and body after experiencing an especially unpleasant nightmare, a little more something-something is needed. More specifically, comforting words and a warm embrace. That should definitely soften the fear.


**Softening the Fear**

_**Notes:**_**This is my first RoyEd and FMA fanfic ever and I don't really know how well I did but I think I might have done okay. I think. This fanfic only came to be because my internet kept turning itself on and off and on and off and I was extremely bored. And so thanks to my internet being complete shit, this fanfic was brought to life. Also, it would make my day if you could review it and maybe, just maybe, leave some constructive criticism. Thanks and enjoy!****  
****Anna^^**

Ed woke with a start, his breath erratic, short and quick and a very thin line of sweat covering his skin. His heart was beating extremely quickly, almost to the point where it hurt and he was almost certain that the beating sound he could hear was coming from his pounding heart.

He took a deep, shaky breath in and rolled onto his back, looking up at the dark ceiling above and clenching the rather warm sheets he was lying on. Fear and adrenaline raced at mind blowing speeds throughout his body. _It was only and nightmare... Only a nightmare... Nothing more..._ Was what he kept telling himself over and over again, trying to calm himself down. It wasn't working very well, he found.

Both fear and panic continued to rush through his entire body, those calming words he had said to himself had almost no affect whatsoever. He tore his eyes from the ceiling above him and the dark, sleeping figure beside him that was Roy. Should he...? No... No. That would be stupid to wake him for something so trivial. It was only a nightmare after all...

Ed turned his head to the other side, towards the bedroom door that stood ajar. A nice, hot cup of honey tea might just be the thing to calm his erratic breaths, thumping heart and the fear that was running freely inside his body. Slowly, he unclenched his, now white, knuckles from the bed sheets and sat up, using his right arm as support. Shakily, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and glanced over his shoulder, hesitating for a moment before he stood up and left the warmth of the bed.

He walked to the bedroom door, careful to not let it creak as he did so, and slipped out into the dark hallway. He was cautious as he walked down the dark hallway, not wanting to bump into anything that might either break or hurt himself. Eventually Ed reached the staircase after the slow and cautious walk from the bedroom and the every so often looks he shot over his shoulder, just in case. Placing his hand on the banister, he walked down the stairs, along the hallway and into the kitchen.

For a few seconds, Ed's hands fumbled for the light switch before he found it and flicked it on. The sudden burst of light blinded him for a minute or two, his eyes having to adjust to the light. Walking into the kitchen, he reached out a still shaky hand and picked up the kettle, filling it with water and placing it on the stove. Turning it on, he shuffled over to the cupboard that the mugs were in and took one, carefully sitting it on the kitchen bench. He added the tea and the right amount of sugar, which was three and a half teaspoons if you were wondering, and pulled himself onto the kitchen bench. He had always liked sitting on top the kitchen bench.

Picking up the mug that was soon to be filled with his favourite honey tea, he held it carefully in two hands and stared into it.

That nightmare. It was like- no, exactly the same to all the other nightmares he had been having recently. Everything was the same, from start to finish but something was off. Something was different. And it terrified Ed to the bone since he couldn't understand _what_ was off and so incredibly ominous.

Eds train of thought was suddenly cut off by something he had seen in the corner of his eye. His head shot up, only to meet the familiar dark hallway. He swore he had seen a shadow there but there no one was there that could have potentially made that shadow. His grip on the mugs tightened as his whole body tensed up with fear and another feeling that he just couldn't put his finger on.

That feeling felt as if someone was holding a gun or a knife or any other kind of dangerous weapon against his chest and if the slightest thing happened he'd get shot or stabbed. It felt like he was on the very edge of life and death. The feeling wasn't comfortable at all and was harder to shake off than the fear that was still incredibly persistent to run wild in his body.

Now he wished he hadn't made the decision to deal with the aftermath of the nightmare alone. Dealing with the nightmare and it's aftermath alone was much, _much_ harder than just asking for comfort.

He tightened his grip on the mug until his knuckles had turned white as he let out a quiet and unsteady sigh.

0o0o0o0o0

Roy slowly opened his eyes, only to be met with darkness. There was something off, something wrong. He could feel it. But he couldn't figure it out, mainly because he was half-asleep but he knew something was missing.

Missing. Yes, that was it. The bed wasn't as warm as it usually was, he noted. He sighed internally considering if he wanted to rid himself of this irksome feeling, he'd have to figure out what was missing and to figure out what was missing, he would have to move from his current position which he found to be extremely comfy.

Grumbling to himself, he rolls onto his back and turns his head to the side towards Ed or at least, where he should have been. _Ah_, he thought, _that was easier than expected_. Ed was the one missing. He turned his head back to the ceiling, wondering if it's worth getting up and seeing what the hell he was doing at such a late hour.

Eventually, after a quick, or what seemed like quick, debate in his mind, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He figured that he had already moved from his extremely comfortable position that it wouldn't make much difference to just get up and find Ed.

Standing up, he lazily stretched and walked towards the doorway, into the dark hallway. From where he stood in the hallway, outside the bedroom door, he could see a dim light coming from somewhere downstairs. The light was most likely coming from the kitchen, if not, the living room.

Tiredly, he shuffled down the stairs, yawning as he did so, and walked down the dim lit hallway illuminated only by a light that was coming from the kitchen. His suspicion was correct, as always if he did say so himself.

From the moment he stepped into the kitchen, he felt the tension in the air and he knew instinctively that something was wrong, horrible wrong. "Ed...?" He called out after seeing that he hadn't noticed his arrival.

Ed jerked his head up having been scared by the sudden appearance of Roy, standing in the doorway. He had been so caught up in his thoughts about the mysterious, and extremely frightening and uncomfortable feeling that he had completely forgotten about the world around him. Before he could respond in anyway, Roy interrupted him and by the tone of his voice, Ed knew that he knew something was wrong.

"Ed? Are you alright?" Roy asked before another thought flashed into his mind. "Another nightmare?"

Ed straightened his back slightly and tightened his grasp around the mug if that were at all possible. Before he had wished to not deal with this nightmare bullshit alone but now that he thought about it, he'd just become a burden, relying on them for something so trivial. Why, oh, why couldn't he just make his mind up?

In the end, Ed responded to Roy's question with a small nod and was careful not to make eye contact. He might have answered him by actually speaking but Ed wasn't sure if he could use his voice right at that moment in time. Damn, he realised then how much he hated all this nightmare crap. Not just because of the horrible, sickly feelings it always brought with them but the fact that he was to damn weak to deal with them on his own without looking like a scared and hopeless child.

Roy frowned slightly when the only answer he received was a simple and small nod of the head. Almost cautiously, he walked towards Ed who was still sitting on the kitchen bench (something he did and awful lot), and gently placed his hands around Ed's.

Ed jumped slightly, having yet again, drifted into space and didn't notice Roy walk towards him. He only noticed when his fairly cold hands, especially his automail right hand, were gently caressed in Roy's warm hands.

Roy's voice breaks the silence. "Was it the same nightmare as before? The one you always seem to have?" He asks gently.

Unlike before, Ed tries to find his voice. "Ye-Yes..." He mumbled, still averting his eyes from Roy's. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to force his eyes not to well up with tears. This feeling was getting too strong for him to bear and with his fear and panic added to it, it only made things worse. He knew he was near his breaking point but he wouldn't give in, not just yet.

Roy's frown deepened. He didn't like the look that had swept across Ed's face. Ed looked top painful, too scared. He didn't like it at all. Not one bit.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer to the question. Ed never talked about his nightmares before, no matter how much they scared him. He suspected that Ed thought it was his burden, and his burden alone, to bare.

"No..." He replied quietly. In reality, he wanted to talk about the nightmares he was having but to him, they were extremely disturbing and others might not want to hear it or be burdened with it so he figured it was just best to keep it a secret from them.

Roy sighed, not completely understanding why Ed wouldn't talk to him. He hoped Ed would realise that talking about whatever made him feel this way, would not make him a burden, or at least a burden not worth carrying, to the people around him. But obviously his hopes were false.

Roy didn't push it though, instead letting go of Ed's cold hands and prizing the mug from his incredibly tight grip (_how tightly was he even holding that mug? how did it not break?_). He could feel Ed's eyes watching him as he did so but he wasn't stopped. Placing the mug on the kitchen counter, he wrapped his arms around his lover's waist and pulled him close.

Ed was now sitting on the very edge of the kitchen counter. His body was pressed close against Roy's but he didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his head on Roy's shoulder. The scent of burning log wood greeted his nose. He had discovered that no matter what cologne or body soap Roy used, he always smelt of burning log wood.

He closed his eyes, feeling one of Roy's hands rub small circles on his back and the other running his fingers delicately through his hair. But even with Roy's warm embrace and comforting gestures, the terrifying and sickly feeling was still sticking to him. He tangled his fingers in the cloth of the shirt he was wearing as he began to feel himself start to shake ever so slightly again.

He hated himself for that. He was making himself look like a nine year old who's scared of an imaginary monster under his bed than a twenty one year old that's seen more than enough hell to last a lifetime.

Ed felt himself be pulled closer into Roy's embrace. By that point, the only reason why he was not falling of the kitchen counter was because Roy was standing so close to him. For a short while and a short while only, Ed felt calm. It was like being in the eye of a hurricane. Everything is so quiet and still but everything around you is wild and out of control. But for that short while of peace and calm, everything was perfect.

Suddenly a high pitched whistle filled the room, making them both jump which also resulted in Ed finally slipping off the counter and back onto the floor. The peace and calm that had settled over them had completely evaporated and _that_ feeling was back.

Roy reached forward, turned off the stove and took the kettle off the heat. Taking the mug that had almost been forgotten about and filled it almost to the top with water, leaving an inch or so to spare.

Ed watched as Roy filled the mug up with boiling hot water, stir in the honey that he had placed by the stove earlier and added milk. He had absolutely no objections about Roy doing it for him. None at all.

"Here," Roy said, passing Ed the mug of boiling hot honey tea. "Be careful, it's hot."

If Ed were feeling anything else than what he was feeling right then, he would have made a sarcastic comment but because of his current emotions, he decided not to.

"Thank you..." He mumbled, taking the mug from Roy and blowing on the tea gently, attempting to cool it down somewhat.

Roy reached down and took Eds free hand. "Come on," He urged softly, "let's go back to bed."

Ed didn't argue, Even though he was scared to go back to sleep and _that _feeling was still stuck to him, he was exhausted. "Lead the way." Was all he said in reply though it was no longer muttered or murmured.

Roy gave him a small smile that, despite the feeling he was feeling, made his heart swell and his stomach flutter.

Hand in hand, they both began to walk back upstairs to their bedroom. Ed tightened his grip on Roy's hand ever so slightly when he turned off the light, plunging the both of them into darkness. He was scared that if it were as bad as it was in the light of the kitchen, he didn't want to think about how bad it was going to be when he was in complete darkness. In all honesty, it wasn't as bad as he thought.

Not long after leaving the kitchen they were back in their bedroom where their once warm bed, now cold, waited for them. Ed let go of Roy's hand and walked over to his side of the bed, placing his hot cup of tea on the table beside him.

Roy walked around the bed and sat back down on the bed before reaching over and turning on one of the two bedside lamps. The dim yellow light cast a warm and comforting glow around the room.

Sitting back down on the bed, Ed swung his legs back onto the mattress and slipped his legs back under the warmth of the blankets. He reached back over to the bedside table and picked up the still very hot mug of honey tea. Ed shuffled closer to Roy and leant partly on Roy's shoulder, and partly on the headboard behind him.

Almost automatically, Roy's arm wrapped around Ed's waist protectively and Ed rested his head on Roy's shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" Roy asked tentatively, leaning his head on Ed's.

Cautiously, Ed took a sip of the tea which warmed him to the bone. "I-" he started, not exactly knowing how to explain how he was feeling and if he even wanted to at all. "I don't know but..." He trailed off.

"But?" Roy urged, raising an eyebrow.

"But... I don't like it and-" He stopped, trying to string the right words together. "And I want it to stop."

"Don't worry," Roy said, his voice soft and comforting. "It'll fade eventually darling."

Ed felt his face heat up and he knew he was most likely blushing. Whenever Roy calmed him some kind of sappy nickname, it made him feel all warm and gooey inside. It was enough to banish _that_ feeling, if only for a little while.

What Roy said next banished _that _terrifying and sickly feeling for a few hours, enough time for Ed to fall back to sleep and have an alright nights sleep.

"I love you."

"... ... ... I love you too."


End file.
